My slave husband Brett wrote an excellent article about the types of service he provides to me here at home. The article first appeared in Fetlife but then also was re-posted on Facebook and now in Modern Gynarchy Magazine! I am super proud of him and was a little surprised they used “Suzanne’s husband” as a credit rather than his own name. I think my sweety deserves a little credit. 🙂
Incidentally, He is also quoted in the book “150 Years of Gynarchy” by Viola Voltairine who gave him a good chunk of a chapter on the values of orgasm denial and chastity. Ms. Voltairine is not only an excellent feminist author, but also the director of the movie adaptation of “Finding Love Through Female Domination” written by Ms. Renee Lane.
I am reprinting Brett’s article here and I can vouch that all these lovely acts of service has earned him his place at my side and in my heart forever and always.
Day 1. Doing the laundry once and a while, helping vacuum, maybe cooking dinner a few times a week make you a ‘decent human being’, not a slave. It is the minimum a woman should expect from her male.
I learned this from Viola Voltairine‘s FLR course for men. So beginning today and for the next 100 days, I am going to document one act of service each day that I perform for a woman that is above being just a ‘decent human being’. The extra step if you will. Some may be small like today, some may be bigger. But I want to demonstrate in real terms what is like to serve a woman as her slave. I hope you enjoy my experiment! Today’s example – After 2 visits to the grocery store and finding them out of Splenda, I purchased a box of 400 individual packets and refilled my Queen @SuzanneSxySadist‘s sugar bowl by opening each packet one-by-one and emptying it in – to ensure she did not run out of Splenda for her many teas during the day. Nor would she be forced to deal with opening all the packets herself.
Day 2. Lots of men give pedicures to the women they adore. It is a service and a joy. But I have watched endless training videos on how to do it properly. I learned foot massage and own a heated, vibrating foot soaker. I have my own set of pedicure tools and I know what each tool is for!
Day 3. My wife is a very busy woman. I try to make a point of being the one to initiate ‘relaxation’ time for her otherwise, she would work herself to exhaustion most of the time. Other invitations may be just for a massage. It doesn’t always work, but it acts as a gentle reminder I am here and eager to serve her at her whim.
Day 4. Yesterday was about fun and games. Today I am back to my reality of being more than just a ‘decent guy’ to live with. My Queen usually gets up around 7:30AM. Cats make pretty good alarm clocks. My day however begins at 3 AM. What do I do for 4 and a half hours? Glad you asked. Check out my daily routine from the link in the comments. My own son, a sergeant in the Marine Corps says “You get more done before 6 a.m. than most people do all day.” That’s just how I roll for my Queen.
Day 5. No matter what I am doing in service, I must not lose sight of the fact there might be more I could do. And I can never express my happiness at being hers enough. To that end, I have a blackboard just outside my room (the laundry room) where I can leave silly little love notes or let her know like this one, that I am forever looking to be worked harder for her.
Day 6. Yesterday’s post was about how I realize that as much as I do for my Queen, she might always want something more, so I should ask regularly ‘what else may I do for you?’. Along those lines, there is always more to learn. As good a slave as I may think I am, I can always be better. So time for education is important. Always work to grow and learn how to be a better man. As part of my growth, I took Viola Voltairine’s FLR class and it has made a world of difference for me. I highly recommend it to any male submissive. See the link in the comments below.
Day 7. Today brings me to a controversial topic. D/s and finances. When I retired and moved in with my Queen after 14 years of dating, I offered her full control of my finances. She declined but instead, we reached an understanding regarding money. I would pay all our bills from my money going forward, she would retain all her money to use as she pleased. She graciously allowed me to retain my investments and savings for whatever I wished, as they are much smaller than hers. One of my wishes was to invest in Viola Voltairine’s film adaptation of @MsReneeLane‘s book, ‘Finding Love through Female Domination’ in my Queen’s name. Her name will appear in the film credits, not mine. When you look at that number above, know that my Queen is a self-made woman. Before I moved in she already owned her own house (with no mortgage) had created a substantial 401(k) for herself and a hefty college fund for her god-daughter. My paying the bills has only allowed her to increase her financial empire going forward. When I die, the addition of my life insurance, remaining investments, and social security will ensure she becomes a millionairess.
As part of my love and adoration, I work towards insuring she will always have the financial security she needs to be happy. (As an aside, it adds a certain element to our play when her hands are around my throat and she mentions a tiny kinky sex accident now would make her richer so much quicker…)
Day 8. Thank you for dropping in on my experiment ’20 days…’ in which I decided I would spend 20 days looking within, finding out why/IF I am more than just a decent, chivalrous guy and if so, what things I do or traits can I find in myself to prove it? So today it’s about consistency and follow-thru. It probably doesn’t hurt that I love ritual and I am a bit on the OCD scale, but once I agree to obey a direction from a woman I do it. Like bowing and reciting my student pledge to all women and Viola Voltairine every day. I am far from perfect. Case in point – I created a webpage cataloging all the websites @MsReneeLane‘s knights posted on or created and admittedly I left it half finished. @MistressAdara was good enough to prod me into completing the work I had promised. (This is how women will eventually rule the world – through cooperation and collaboration.)
Day 9. Being a decent guy, a chivalrous man should be the minimum in all male/female interactions. But I call myself a slave so in this series I am examining what, if anything, I do that is more than being just a decent guy. Obeying orders I don’t like is that ‘step up’ for today. I do not like dieting nor exercising, but my Queen insists on it. And when I say obey orders I don’t like, I mean I accept this is her will for me and I look for ways to do it the best I can. She said to improve my diet and lose weight, she didn’t say to buy a weight loss supplement for my lunches. She wanted treadmill time every day, she didn’t say add 5 lb. wrist weights to boost the cardio and work on upper body strength. I added those to obey the nature of her will to my best ability – like it or not. Her will, not mine. Always.
Day 10. From the big to the mundane. One of the first dommes I had the pleasure of serving, met me at a diner for an initial interview. Almost immediately she ordered me to put my hands on the table and she examined my fingers. Unkempt nails with spots of dirt under them… She tsked. “Your nails must always be neatly trimmed and clean!” Then with a Mona Lisa smile, she added “You never know where you may be invited to place them…” So my education on personal grooming to please a woman began. Viola Voltairine covers much more on the topic in her FLR course, Obedient Love. But today’s ‘above and beyond’ act of service – personal grooming. I admit I just finished weeding the backyard, so I wussed and didn’t use a picture of my own hands, but you get the point… 😉
Day 11. You thought yesterday’s picture talking about clean fingernails was mundane, today it’s about vacuuming. Yay. It isn’t enough that I run it over the carpets, that’s what decent boys do. The hose attachment is my bestest friend! I do along the ceiling and floor molding, under cabinets and chairs, amongst the couch cushions… nothing goes unsucked! 😉
Day 12. Okay, time for a little fun. After taking Viola Voltairine’s FLR course and receiving extensive education in the feminist movement, I became a little more of ‘just a decent guy’. After reciting her pledge for months accepting the natural authority of women, I became even more decent… renouncing my active participation in serving the patriarchy and working to undermine it. So my ‘wanting to do more’ came in the form of self-applied daily audio hypnosis helping to reinforce my servitude to women everywhere.
Day 13. Okay, yesterday’s post was fun, now back to the mundane. I accept the fact that 99% of a slave’s existence is mundane. Followed by a few hours of painful terror. LoL! (okay, okay, fun!) I already talked about my best friend the vacuum hose and attachments. With Mistress’ nine cats, I vacuum. I vacuum A LOT. If you are a slave to a woman, you probably do too. That’s called being a decent guy. But I clean the vacuum cleaner when I’m done. That’s my ‘beyond’ for today.
Day 14. Attentiveness is what day 14 is about. In passing, Mistress moaned that her favorite hack-around-in tennis shoes were looking really bad. When she was busy later on, I got them from her closet and cleaned them for her, then put them back where I found them without mentioning it. She hadn’t asked or ordered me to, I saw a want of hers, cleaner sneakers, and fulfilled it without being asked. I always keep my ear open to her little asides and comments that might present an opening for me to express my devotion to her – unasked.
Day 15. I realized this morning that this series is an outgrowth of a blog post of mine from a while back entitled “What does it take?” where I addressed the literally dozens of submissive men over the years who’ve asked me how I came to be the husband/slave of a pro-domme. In it I discussed gift giving. While technically giving a woman gifts doesn’t elevate one from ‘decent human being’ status to slave, I’d like to think my sheer devotion to continuously showering her with little nothings counts for today’s service. For most men, gift-giving is the price of entry to between her thighs and it tapers off soon afterwards. My Mistress still gets regular unexpected gifts even 15 years after the fact. When I die, there is a good chance the last purchase on my credit card will have been for flowers. 🙂
Day 16. One of the 5 love languages according to Gary Chapman, author of ‘The 5 Love Languages’, is words of affirmation. Thanks to the training of Viola Voltairine, I have become aware of the fact that women have always been judged and praised based on inward things – ‘Doesn’t she look pretty!’,’She’s such a well-behaved girl’. While men are judged on outward things – ‘Look what he did!’,’He was so brave!’ For today’s ‘be better than decent’ act, I shower my Mistress with praise every day but meaningful praise. Not just ‘I love your tits!’ Okay, I really DO love her tits, but you’re missing my point! It took me 60 years to really internalize the fact the women are people too. I compliment them as such. More radically, I’ve learned to treat them as such. In re-reading this, I kind of like the idea of hashtagging #BeBetterThanDecent ! 🙂
Day 17. I pride myself on being an attentive lover. That’s what ‘decent guys’ do though, if you’ve been following the news, apparently not superheroes. LoL! But if a woman graces me with allowing me to give her pleasure, I not only want to know a few tricks, I want to know all the tricks. Study, study, study!
Day 18. don Miguel Ruiz in his book ‘The Four Agreements’ says ‘Be impeccable with your words.’ His point is to be careful in what you say, the words you use – and the ones you do not – have tremendous power. Over my years of service to various women, I have shortened my dictionary considerably. I rarely use the words No and Never to them anymore. “Anything” has had its definition changed to include ‘Very dangerous utterance. Use with extreme caution.’ Please is a good replacement for No in many cases…
Day 19. Big stuff, little stuff. Today I’m thinking about what is referred to as mindfulness. In Viola Voltairine’s FLR course, she refers to it as ‘Do Easy’. In AA we call it keeping your head where your feet are at. Whatever term you use, it is about being in the moment, doing what you are doing right now, not doing it while thinking about lunch or yesterday’s argument. And interestingly enough practicing this big thing leads to being better at little things. Like making a bed well. 🙂
Day 20. Life comes with problems. Relationship issues, money matters, conflicts of interests… the list is long. Face it, life is hard, especially in a D/s relationship. As a slave, I feel I am at my best when I am seen and not heard, but sometimes I need to express a problem I have or that I see. A decent guy would work at maintaining open and honest communication with the women around him, but I always go the extra step and never offer a problem without also suggesting a solution. Since she is my queen, I try to make her life as easy as possible and don’t put all the burden on her to fix everything. I am proactive in helping to make her decisions easier.
Day 21. Yes, these are actual books from my nightstand. The bird-watching book was in response to Mistress’s newfound interest in bird-watching. A passive/aggressive plea from me, her servant, to please not make me do this with you? Probably. Actually no. That is exactly what it was. Definitely. The point of today’s post? I don’t take myself too seriously. Slavery is very hard work. Surrendering your time, energy, finances, emotions, psyche to another human being can be draining. I make sure I take time to laugh once and a while, especially at myself! Sometimes I think I, and my chosen lifestyle, am the biggest joke of all…
Day 22. I was inspired by Pride month! So far my exploration of what I am doing to make myself more than just a decent guy has revolved around service to my wife and the women in my immediate circle. That is all well and good… female empowerment starts in the home after all. But today I want to expand my scope and say that being ‘more than just a decent guy’ as a submissive male means actually contributing to the rise of feminism. I buy feminist literature and actually read it. I write supportive reviews. I watch YouTube interviews and click like and subscribe. I promote women-made films and kick in financial support to a future movie that shows women it’s okay to be whomever you wish to be sexually. I sign petitions against female genital mutilations and countries where women can be stoned to death for infidelity. (YES. This shit is REAL.) I don’t just serve the women around me, I serve all women. I have a mantra I repeat at least 9 times each day lest I forget, “I worship all women. I obey all women.” See some links I felt are important below and please feel free to add your own!
Day 23. Decent guys aren’t rapists. They don’t force themselves on women. Decent guys are respectful of all women and attentive lovers when invited to be. (see here for more on that). “Don’t be a rapist” seems like a pretty low standard to meet, but when you consider it means don’t rape women visually, don’t make unsolicited lewd or suggestive comments to her or in her presence, don’t send her a dick pic… well a lot of men can’t seem to clear even that bar. So what’s the ‘something extra’ in this regard that marks me as more than just a decent guy? Turning control of my sex over to a woman. Giving her the power to decide the how and when, if ever. Statistically speaking, the number of rapes committed this century by men in inescapable chastity devices stands at exactly… zero. 🙂
THIS is essential reading for both sides of the slash.
Thank you for posting and sharing. There is so much to learn from this.
Thank you for appreciating it – he is pretty remarkable I think … I am definitely lucky we found each other.
I’ve known you both for some time now and I’ve done what I can to help when asked.
I’m glad that you found each other and tied the final “knot”. Doesn’t mean I’m not a bit jealous. Wish my relationship was a bit more like yours! Hugs to both of you!
Aww thank you dear – you have been with me almost longer than anyone. 🙂 I think only Lewis and Softball Bob are the only ones left that have been seeing me since the Long Island days. But we go back a very long time and you have been a very very good sub to me LH. 🙂