So I might have spoke a bit too soon about that joy and inner peace I was feeling last time because life sure has a way of smacking you with some sh*t when you think everything was going OK. Without airing too many personal details about the drama here – someone I care for very deeply, that I am in the habit of helping out often, has found himself in a very serious situation that we are unable to fix. We are going to have to wait and see if he is permitted to even stay in the country. The fallout very seriously and directly impacts his kid – whom I love as my own, and we have been scrambling to try and help figure out how to mitigate the damage, and keep the bills paid, etc. as well as making an emergency run to PA for an overnight so that we could visit the dad. It has been a bit all consuming and really emotionally and financially exhausting for the last three to four weeks. And we have no idea how any of this is going to pan out.

Then 72 hours ago we noticed my Roameow was not acting himself, so I took him to the Emergency Vet in Canton – OK’d $1,200 in tests for them to determine he had hyperthyroidism, dehydration, crystals in his urine ohh and we can’t rule out cancer, but for another 2 to 3,000 dollars we could hospitalize him and try to get him stable, but there’s no guarantee he will make it. I was gutted but decided I really can’t afford to spend that much money and take a chance on him dying alone in a cage. So I sobbed and held him as they put my Roamy boy to sleep in my arms. Fuck! All my kitties are special but Roameow held a REALLY big chunk of my heart. When he showed up in my driveway 12 or 13 years ago battered, hungry and terrified of humans, it took me over 4 months of cat-whispering him into trusting me and once I got him fixed – he became to sweetest most loving cat you could ever hope to meet. (I am not making any additional commentary on how that possibly relates to chastity in men – but – just saying) Anyway, even my ex who is not a cat guy – like at all – LOVED Roameow. It was a devastating blow on top of everything else hitting the fan right now and it just happened so fast – I still can’t believe he’s gone. I am SOOO heartbroken. 🙁

So I took a couple of days to grieve and puttered in the garden. I saw several new species of birds at my feeders, had a pansy randomly pop up in a completely unexpected place and pulled several hundred weeds. I am getting through one sad day at a time, and still looking for the little blessings – but obviously I have had better months. Thanks for letting me vent. Coming soon – a new gallery of play photos!