Hmm, I have not written anything here in quite some time and I am in the mood for a bit of a rant and saying what is on my mind tonight although it is like 3 am and I probably should just go to bed! I spent a quiet evening at home scanning “CollarMe” profiles of dominants in and out of my area and although I found a few very interesting ones (sadly not many close to upstate NY) I saw a lot of “crap” too. I guess the point of me mentioning this is to say that I really find that well written profiles (with photos) are very helpful in establishing an interest in a man or potential playmate for me.
Furthermore, I find it sad that so few people put much effort into them and then complain that they can’t find anyone “real” there. I think you have to “be real” to attract “real” in return. I also have been getting contacted by a lot of people that do not seem to understand the value of “putting your best foot forward”, by preparing a decent and informative profile, crafting an interesting contact email or attaching a photo that does you justice.
Anyway, regarding profiles, I spent quite a bit of time writing a profile that does a fairly decent job of saying who I am, what my main interests and talents are and what I am looking for in a dominant partner. (and yet I still get dozens of requests from submissive men who wish to be my live in slave, which tells me these “slaves” could not even be bothered to read my profile and that in itself is not terribly endearing.
When someone that has no profile contacts me with a one liner email, I tend to blow them off because it tells me they are not willing to put in the time and effort up front to tell me what they are really all about. I hear a lot that they “don’t want to pour their heart out to strangers” or that they would rather “get to know someone in person”, but to be honest in this day & age I have learned to cut to the chase more quickly so that I can focus on people that I truly have something in common with, rather than have us both waste time and energy in a fruitless exchange.
Also, please learn to use a spelling and grammar checker! Sheesh people! How difficult is it to copy & paste it to a Word or similar file and check it before posting it? You are sending your profile out into the community as a representation of you. When I see a dominant’s profile littered with blatant mistakes it says to me that: this is a man that has no eye for detail and does not truly care how he is viewed and that is terribly unattractive, in my opinion. My spelling and grammar are not exactly the greatest in the world either, (and I use my own rules of punctuation) but I am bright enough to know how to get help when it matters to me and I want to at least appear somewhat intelligent!
Next, regarding photos… I also understand that there are some folks here that cannot post pics in their profiles due to jobs or whatever (and incidentally, since I am so active in the lifestyle locally and nationally, if you have tremendous privacy issues we are probably not a great match to be honest), but for those of you that can at least email a photo.. for God’s sake get a decent one taken! (Granted if I do not find you attractive even in a good picture a fabulous profile will probably not help since I do need to find my mate sexually attractive for an interest to grow.)
In this age of cameras and scanners everywhere there is very little excuse for horribly lit self portraits that don’t actually show what you look like. And here’s a news flash guys.. I have seen VERY few web cam photos that are attractive even if you ARE good looking. The lighting I usually terrible and most of them look like something from a scary movie or a mug shot. Bleh! Come on .. you don’t have one single friend or relative that would be willing to take a decent photo for you? I am sorry but that in itself speaks volumes about you and not in a good way.
Finally, and this is a pet peeve of mine.. but I would like to know what exactly does it take to claim expert status on inane things like blindfolds, collars, leashes, hoods, corsets, stockings, cages and gags! Did you actually attend a class on that somewhere and did they give you a cute little certificate for your wall? I mean come on, let’s be real here… you put them on or in and you take them off or out .. this is not rocket science guys and in my opinion there is no talent, skill or knowledge required to operate many of the absolutely ridiculous things I see “expert” sitting beside in some of the profiles out there! How does one become an expert at receiving a massage? You mastered the fine art of laying down flat and not getting up until it is over? Wow!! I am soooooo impressed! LOL!!
When I see expert status next to things like that…. I think to myself .. “this is an insecure, clueless little man that has a need to try and make himself seem more important and desirable by popping “expert” next to as many things as he possibly can”. I find it sad and pathetic actually and it truly has turned me off some otherwise interesting profiles. So I would like to maybe not so politely suggest to you that you give some thought to the things you are checking off and ask yourself what you REALLY know about a particular subject and is that a talent that you really feel requires or deserves “expert” skill and training in? Incidentally, even with over 12 years experience as a professional dominant, I thought long and hard before I added “expert” next to any of my interests because I know that there are many people more knowledgeable than I am on any given subject and I am grateful that there will always be something I can learn about everything I love to do and then some. I never want to stop learning and growing and improving myself and my skills and many “experts” I know think they know it all.
Ok .. I am done ranting for the moment and I am going to put my controversial and opinionated little switch self to bed now.. have a nice night. Suzanne
