I started this article last year and dropped it into a draft folder where it was forgotten for quite some time. I came across it this week and decided to dust it off and throw it out here. I welcome comments on it.)
Speaking of rope … a while back when I christened my new batch of flax from Madame Butterfly on “slave t” I alluded briefly to some rope characteristics and how they sometimes contribute to my rope selection for a scene. This is not something I have ever bothered to delve deeply into in the bondage classes that I teach, mainly because I think that a lot of my views here are highly subjective. What works for me in a given scenario may not work for the next person, or even for me again on a different day, with someone else, if the wind doesn’t blow just right.
I guess, what I am trying to say is that there is no exact science or step by step recipe to the alchemy of a great rope scene that will work every single time in any given scenario, and honestly, would anyone really want that? Isn’t a bit of fiery and passionate unpredictability part of what makes a sexual encounter hot? If getting laid ever became nothing but a paint by the numbers exercise, I would hope the human race would finally finish itself off.
However, I do realize that some general guidelines that I use in selecting rope could still prove to be useful insight for someone who may be new enough to not have formed opinions about such things, so I hope this article will be helpful to some folks and that it is not purely mental masturbation. (Not that I have anything against masturbation, mental or otherwise!) 🙂
Though I do not believe I have ever been known for delivering clear concise essays especially when the topic at hand drifts into the realm of “woo woo” (which is a catch all phrase I use for anything having to do with energetic connection and other intangibles that have to be felt rather than described in concrete terms), I will do my best to stay on topic and keep this as simple and direct yet thorough as possible. Please keep in mind that everything I am about to say is entirely my opinion and as such your mileage may vary.
Rope Slut – I am definitely a Rope Slut and I am also a compulsive shopper so at this point I own a HELL of a lot of rope from a wide variety of sources. Although I do not NEED any more rope, I always enjoy checking out new rope and vendors even if only from the standpoint of what uniqueness it may add to an experience.
Personally, as a top or a bottom, the more my senses are fully engaged in an experience, generally the fuller and often more satisfying that experience will be. I believe that a creative top can use different types of rope to induce specific effects in a scene similar to an artist using color to paint or a composer uses different instruments in a piece of music. Let’s think about the various senses and how they can be affected by various rope characteristics:
Look–When I consider how rope bondage looks, I see it as having at least two distinct and separate layers.
First, there is the look of the actual tie. Things to consider are: how neatly the bands are laid against each other, do rope twist or cross each other, does the tie snugly grip the body or do the bands shift around loosely on the skin, are the ends left hanging, bunched up and shoved away or meticulously tied off? Is the over all effect symmetrical? Does it complement the individual’s physique, etc?
But there is there is also the look of the actual rope itself to consider. Each material (hemp, flax, jute, silk, cotton, nylon etc) has its own unique appearance and then there are the construction whether it be braided or twisted, thickness and color to consider as well. I will get into these aspects separately in a moment.
Honestly there are times when the visual appearance of the bondage is more important to me than others. If I am doing a photo shoot, I naturally want the rope itself as well as the tie I am creating to be neat and pretty, but there are times when the intention of the scene is less about the visual and more focused on other things, like the energy exchange, the dynamics and sensations we are sharing, and how damn horny we are getting, so at those times my ties tend to be a bit faster, messier or “dirtier”.
I personally often find “messy ties” to have a greater “sex appeal” than perfectly executed and meticulous ties on bored to death or otherwise disengaged models. There is something really hot for me about the urgency of a “dirty and fast tie”, although my partner Brett reminded me that a slow meticulous tie executed with delicious sexual chemistry and a delightful teasing build up can be pretty damn hot too. However you prefer it, the bottom line for me is that the real juice is in the intention and the energy of the scene and its participants not just in the visual aspects of the rope work.
To illustrate this, these days when I am doing full or partial suspension bondage with my lover in our personal play, I often use a combination of silk for comfort and hemp for strength, even though the ropes do not actually look that great together. At these times, I care more about what am trying to accomplish than I do about how the bondage looks, and I find that using the silk for chest wraps under the arms and then adding a band of hemp over the arms gives me the strength I need while keeping him as comfortable as possible and able to stay in the tie even under other heavy physical duress (translated to: while I beat him with a really big stick). 🙂
When I am focusing on the visual aspects of a tie for a photo shoot (as opposed to a scene) I will begin by making sure my ropes match and if I decide to use hemp for example I will use only hemp that visually matches and not different colors, thicknesses, and textures. I will also pay much closer attention to the symmetry and other visual aspects of the tie like deciding how many wraps it will take to create a band on the body so that it looks properly proportioned.
As for the use of color, I enjoy using brightly colored rope in certain situations for various reasons: to match a models skin tone, hair, accent clothing, create dramatic effects etc, but I more often than not prefer natural colored rope. First off I am a bit of a perfectionist and I hate that most dying processes do not color the rope all the way to the core. 😛 <bleh>
Furthermore, I feel there is something intrinsically and transparently beautiful about natural fiber on naked flesh. I love finding and appreciating beauty its simplest and purest form whenever possible these days. Even natural ropes come in a variety of shades from snow white bamboo, off white creamy silk, jutes that lean toward golden wheat like colors and the hemp I have tends to be a nice neutral tan which works well on most skin tones for me.
In addition to the color of the rope another thing I tend to notice is how well the ropes’ finish catches light. Some of the smoother textures tend to reflect light better than others. For example, most nylons have pretty high shine and some of the softer “grassy” ropes have a lovely warm sheen to them. Those of us who really appreciate beautiful rope photography will want to pay special attention to this quality as it can make a big difference in the photos.
Feel – Texture tends to be very important to me. When I touch the rope with my hands I am naturally feeling the texture of it as I glide it through my hands and over my fingers because I want to know how it is going to feel when I drag it across the bottom’s flesh. But, I also pay attention to a few others things such as the “burn speed” which is the amount of friction the rope creates as it drags across the skin. Many people are surprised to find that nylon rope which can feel smooth to the touch actually gets hotter faster than most natural fibered ropes such as cotton, hemp, jute or silk and thus is said to have a lower burn speed.
I also am often aware of the temperature of the rope as it goes onto my body. Not necessarily temperature as in was it stored in a warm or cold room or not (although that is naturally a factor as well because I truly dislike being cold) but I tend to find smoother textures often feel cooler than coarser ones even if stored in the same location and some materials seem to warm to the body quicker than others. For example, I almost always find braided nylon ropes to feel cooler than most twisted hemp and silk usually feels the warmest of all in my rope basket.
Another important factor I will include here (although these are more functional characteristics than an aesthetic feature) is how much stretch and compression the rope has. If I am doing a full or partial suspension I need to know whether the ropes are going to stay where I place them or stretch and shift more than will be comfortable or safe. A bit of stretch can be very desirable under certain circumstances and not good at all for others. I am especially fond of Madame Butterfly’s silk in this regard because the silk stretches enough to “breathe” with the bottom which can be very handy for some situations, & gentler intentions but it is not generally suitable to use for the main support lines in a suspension.
I am a reasonable enough sadist to understand that if I use rope that a sub won’t tear themselves to bits struggling in, I can keep them tied up longer tormenting them in other deliciously cruel and devious ways. As mentioned earlier, my Brett has lasted much longer in full and partial suspensions when I use the silk for the base wraps AND I have even been able to suspend him day after day without him feeling overly tender from the rope abrasions and contusions. I also adore the silk for sensual bedroom bondage when I want to be able to struggle or pull comfortably against the rope.
Part of its charm for me is that silk allows for a great deal of compression. The best way I can describe what I mean by compression is for me to have you imagine you have two fairly bony places tied together with a cinch between them and a bit of weight on the area. A dense rope that won’t compress will dig deeper into the flesh and cause more discomfort under this circumstance than one that has a lot of compressibility and give to it. For times when I am tying bony areas in close proximity and I want to insure either more comfort or less marks I will grab either a very smooth soft nylon or the soft spongy raw silk.
There are also days and instances when I crave the scratchier, coarser feel of some of the rougher grasses, but not often. I have some brand new jute for example that I bought from the Monk over a year ago and have only used once or twice because it is just so rough on the skin. Yes, I know that if I used it more often it would begin to soften but there in is one of life’s sweet ironies that it won’t get soft enough to use until you use it a lot so I tend to leave it in the basket and grab something that is far more usable now!
Smell – The sense of smell is absolutely connected to sexual response on a primal level and many bottoms get turned on just smelling certain kinds of rope. Each type of material has its own unique fragrance and can elicit different responses. In particular I love the natural scents of hemp, flax and silk. I am not overly wild about chemical or petroleum scented ropes.
I tend to tell the story in my bondage class that the smell of natural rope is hard wired to sex for me because my first orgasm as a kid was climbing the thick ropes in gym class! (I was very good at rope climbing). 😉 On the other hand, I find the smell of silk to be very comforting to me because I associate that scent with my mother who went through a phase of wearing raw silks shirts that I used to borrow fairly often. The point is, because of the place it gets stored in your brain, scents can be one of the easiest senses to exploit and one of the longest lasting associations to make.
Taste – Yes even taste can come into play in particular if you have a tendency to play with rope gags. Some ropes swell more than others when wet which you may want to consider as well if you want to make sure the submissive can still breathe freely.
While here it bears mentioning that some people have allergies to the natural fibers of hemp or jute and if in doubt it would be good to check before shoving a big wad of it into their mouth. 😉 For more info on the use of gags & blindfolds I have another essay elsewhere on the blog: Blindfolds & Gags 101 and then some!
Sound –Ok, since rope all by itself tends to be pretty quiet, this one is not a major player for me but it the truth is when a submissive is blindfolded all of their other senses become heightened and if I close my eyes right now I can hear in my head the whispering friction sound of rope whooshing or whirring across itself, the snap of it slapping across my flesh, the ground or the rig (which also relates to feel) and the creaking sound it can make when you are suspended.
Ok that is about all I have to say at the moment .. if I think of anything else to add I will edit it in later.
Yours in rope .. Suze