I have been a bit numb off and on for the past week or so since being told that my former love and partner of 6 years passed away after a long battle with cancer on or about Aug 1 2008.  Although he and I split up and went our seperate ways about 5 years ago, he has never really been completely out of my heart or even my thoughts for long. 

Friends I haven’t spoken to in ages have been calling me all week to see if I am alright… and yes, although I am sad and I will definitely miss him, I moved on with my life a long time ago. Ok, the truth is, I never really stopped loving him and I have spent a fair bit of time this week remembering him, missing him, and wishing I had had one last chance to hug him and tell him what a special person he is, and what a wonderful part of my life he was and how fondly I will always look back on the years we spent together. And I would so just want to thank him for the gift he was to my life.  Nelson touched me in ways no one ever had before and I loved him deeper than anyone I had ever been with. And when he left, he helped me learn that I was far stronger and more capable than I ever would have believed so even in his absence he helped me grow as a person.

He was an amazing man on so many levels and part of me still cannot believe he is gone. But, I am truly grateful that he is no longer suffering. I’d never want to see him hurt, unless I was intentionally and consensually doing it that is. 😉 Farewell sweetheart.. and rest in peace.