The following letter was sent to me today by one of my dearest friends but it originally went to Dear Abby and it really touched me too. I spent several hours this week helping my favorite little person wite her first set of Valentine cards. (Mostly she wrote them with a great deal of prodding and encouragement from me and I had to help remind her how to make certain letters.)

She naturally enjoyed making the ones for the people in her class that she liked and that liked her back but I distinctly remember reading her one little boys name and she got quiet for a moment and said that this particular boy was often mean to her. After my initial gut reaction that wanted to smack the little bastard for being mean to my favorite person on the planet, she and I had a little chat about “loving our enemies” and how sometimes you really don’t know why some people act the way that they do.

Who knows, maybe he has a really sad life and his mommy and daddy don’t spend enough time with him. Maybe he doesn’t have any friends and that makes him sad or maybe he is just jealous of how bright and beautiful my little “ray of sunshine” is at heart. Neither of us knew for sure, but we did know that we felt bad for him and in the end she wanted to pick a very special card for him and seal it with an extra bright and special sticker to cheer him up! (because that’s the kind of amazingly loving and open hearted child she is!)

It was a wonderful reminder to me that sometimes just turning the other cheek may not be enough. Sometimes the greater good would be to go the extra mile and really repay meaness with kindess.   Of course that is easier to say than do because instinct often has us repay cruelty in kind but that just perpetuates the viciousness of the cycle.  Perhaps that is too lofty a goal to aspire to so what if we just started with sending a bit more love and compassion to folks who have not done us harm. 🙂 Suddenly that seems easier right? Yup, it is all perspective.  🙂  

Read on for the letter that got me thinking today…

DEAR ABBY: I clearly remember my first Valentine’s Day. I was in first grade. A few days before, my mom asked how many kids were in my class, and we went to a store and bought large packages of valentines — one for every child in the class. The cards were all the same size and said, basically, the same thing.

When I arrived at school, each classmate had a small box on his or her desk. At some point during the day, I went around the room and gave each child a valentine. There was one for the quiet one in the back, the most popular girl in class, the prettiest and even the boys. This was long before society taught me that such a show of affection had to exclude people of the same gender as me. By the end of the day, everyone had a full box of valentines to take home.

One desk, one box … the love of a child.

As I grew older, society taught me to narrow my offering of affection, picking only those I chose to be special or worthy. Eventually, I was taught to limit my valentines to only one person. More time went on, and then a card was not enough. To show that really special person what she meant to you, you needed to send flowers, candy and jewelry.

Apparently, as we grew older it took more and more to fill those boxes. Now we absolutely could not give to more than one person. People hire detectives to make sure that the person isn’t filling anyone else’s. And if you had no one to send you anything, you were saddened by your big, empty box filled only with sadness and despair.

Today, I am taking back from society what it has taken from me. I’m counting how many people play a role in my life, and I am buying “virtual” packages of cards. I have one for every single one of you — man or woman, young or old, straight or gay, married or single. Each card is the same size, they all say the same thing — that I appreciate who you are and what you have to contribute to each other.

I invite each and every one to do the same, so that no box is empty and the shy ones, the pretty ones, the popular ones and those who are less so go home tonight with a full box of valentines.

One virtual desk, one virtual box, and the love of a child at heart. I wish you all a happy Valentine’s Day. — ERIC IN LOS ALAMITOS, CALIF.

DEAR ERIC: Your letter touched me — and I am sure that everyone who reads it wishes the same for you.