December 28th:
Mz Suzanne gave me a difficult assignment today. I have been craving more and more, a more feminine me. I have started doing things on my own, like body waxing, using women’s deodorant, plucking my eyebrows, etc. I have found that I am at my happiest spending some part of everyday being feminine.
Mz Suzanne told me to wear cute pink panties (I wear them every day now, but usually I choose the color), and go to the local mall and buy something pretty at Victoria’s Secret. AND I had to let the saleswoman know that the garment was for me. I then had to go to one of the stalls in the restroom, and send pictures proving my chastity, panties, and purchase. I was a little taken aback for a moment, but that was replaced in seconds by the sheer joy of obeying Mz Suzanne, especially something challenging and public.
I put on the pink panties you see in the picture; I choose them because they make me feel real slutty, and because they’re open in the back, I can obey Mz Suzanne’s command of anal training, without removing them. I went out to the mall; I was scared, excited, apprehensive, pleased, all at the same time. So hard to explain how satisfying these feeling are, but they all make me happy.
I walked into the store and immediately went to the back, away from the main entrance. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, but I decided that I wanted a teddy or a body suit of some type, that I can wear under my ugly male clothes during the day. I was gazing around the different racks, and just as I guessed, a salesgirl approached me, and asked if I needed any help. She was very nice; middle aged like me, polite and un-concerning. I’m sure she’s helped a lot of nervous men before in the store. I will not give her name.
I was so nervous. I know I could have lied and said I was gift shopping, but I would have failed Mz Suzanne, and myself. I want Mz Suzanne to complete my transformation, and the only way to do that is to conquer every challenge she gives me. I said to the girl that I was looking for something that would fit the dress size I know I wear, and the bra size I wear as well. She asked how tall the girl was, and I said 5 foot eight inches. She kept looking at me calmly, and simply said to me, “If this is for you, I’d be happy to help you. What’s your name?” I was kind of floored, so I just said, “****”. She was still very kind, and quiet, and pleasant. She asked me again, more directly, if I was shopping for me. Scared to death, I said yes. She said “Okay, that’s fine sweetie. What’s your special name?”, and I said Josie. She led me over to several racks, and gave me some advice about sizes, fits, what ran small or big, etc. She left me alone to browse and told me just to ask her if I had more questions. After about 10 minutes I found a pink one-piece I really liked, and brought it to the counter. There was a lot of customers at the register; while paying, she put my purchase in a bag and said, “I’m sure this will look lovely on Josie. I hope she enjoys it.”
I loved every minute of it. I love feeling feminine, but I also love the feeling of lost masculinity, now; which is really very different from feeling feminine. And when the two are combined, it is sensational. I cannot express how much gratitude for Mz Suzanne I have, and I truly am on pins and needles, waiting for the next step in my transformation, and hoping that Mz Suzanne will not lessen the intensity of my training, and continue to challenge me.
